Police: What Chris Brown did to Rihanna

I know its been out a week, but I think it's worth a second read.

If you somehow haven't read it yet, this is the police affidavit from the Chris Brown / Rihanna incident. PS... Robyn F. = Rihanna

"Brown was driving a vehicle with Robyn F. as the front passenger on an unknown street in Los Angeles. Robyn F. picked up Brown's cellular phone and observed a three-page text message from a woman who Brown had a previous sexual relationship with.

"A verbal argument ensued and Brown pulled the vehicle over on an unknown street, reached over Robyn F. with his right hand, opened the car door and attempted to force her out. Brown was unable to force Robyn F. out of the vehicle because she was wearing a seat belt. When he could not force her to exit, he took his right hand and shoved her head against he passenger window of the vehicle, causing an approximate one-inch raised circular contusion.

"Robyn F. turned to face Brown and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand. He then drove away in the vehicle and continued to punch her in the face with his right hand while steering the vehicle with his left hand. The assault caused Robyn F.'s mouth to fill with blood and blood to splatter all over her clothing and the interior of the vehicle.

"Brown looked at Robyn F. and stated, 'I'm going to beat the s--t out of you when we get home! You wait and see!'"

The detective said she then used her cell phone to call her personal assistant, Jennifer Rosales, who did not answer.

"Robyn F. pretended to talk to her and stated, 'I'm on my way home. Make sure the police are there when I get there.'

"After Robyn F. faked the call, Brown looked at her and stated, 'You just did the stupidest thing ever! Now I'm really going to kill you!'

"Brown resumed punching Robyn F. and she interlocked her fingers behind her head and brought her elbows forward to protect her face. She then bent over at the waist, placing her elbows and face near her lap in [an] attempt to protect her face and head from the barrage of punches being levied upon her by Brown.

"Brown continued to punch Robyn F. on her left arm and hand, causing her to suffer a contusion on her left triceps that was approximately two inches in diameter and numerous contusions on her left hand.

"Robyn F. then attempted to send a text message to her other personal assistant, Melissa Ford. Brown snatched the cellular telephone out of her hand and threw it out of the window onto an unknown street.

"Brown continued driving and Robyn F. observed his cellular telephone sitting in his lap. She picked up the cellular telephone with her left hand and before she could make a call he placed her in a head lock with his right hand and continued to drive the vehicle with his left hand.

"Brown pulled Robyn F. close to him and bit her on her left ear. She was able to feel the vehicle swerving from right to left as Brown sped away. He stopped the vehicle in front of 333 North June Street and Robyn F. turned off the car, removed the key from the ignition and sat on it.

"Brown did not know what she did with the key and began punching her in the face and arms. He then placed her in a head lock positioning the front of her throat between his bicep and forearm. Brown began applying pressure to Robyn F.'s left and right carotid arteries, causing her to be unable to breathe and she began to lose consciousness.

"She reached up with her left hand and began attempting to gouge his eyes in an attempt to free herself. Brown bit her left ring and middle fingers and then released her. While Brown continued to punch her, she turned around and placed her back against the passenger door. She brought her knees to her chest, placed her feet against Brown's body and began pushing him away. Brown continued to punch her on the legs and feet, causing several contusions.

"Robyn F. began screaming for help and Brown exited the vehicle and walked away. A resident in the neighborhood heard Robyn F.'s plea for help and called 911, causing a police response. An investigation was conducted and Robyn F. was issued a Domestic Violence Emergency Protective Order."

Headline News!!

Ah. Sorry y'all. It's almost been a week since my last post.

No one is reading this to care, but I still feel bad.

So here are a couple things that happened in the past week:

UNC beats Duke; Takes Number One in ACC
- Duh. We all kinda new this was going to happen. Sorry Dookies, it was just obvious that this was going to happen. The ACC Tourney starts tomorrow!

Octomom 911 call released
- I don't want to hate on the Octomom, but this call was craaazy! She didn't know where her kid was, even though he was with the nanny. I know this happens, where the kid disappears and you freak out - but she was threatening to kill herself on the 911 call! What about your five other (at the time) kids?? Cuckcoo!

Brit's who-ha makes news
- The audio of Britney Spears talking about her "waldrobe malfunction" was released. She was talking about that you could see it. Ummm... this isn't the first time your who-ha has made the news. Who HASN'T seen that?

Football Players Lost at Sea
- So the one survivor is the only survivor. That's just sad. A fishing trip gone wrong and it's just so hard to think about the families. It's one thing to die on land, at least then there is a CHANCE to get the body back and mourn. But bodies lost at sea rarely ever turn up, especially how far out they were. R.I.P.

Stabbed in Head
- How crazy was this? Tampa Bay Bucs linebacker Geno Hayes was stabbed in the head and neck by his crazy girlfriend! Hayes was taken to a hospital by a friend Saturday. I bet he wishes he'd stayed at Florida State a little longer and never met that crazy woman. Speaking of domestic violence...

Chris Brown vs. Rihanna: Round 57
- I say versus, but its really not. They got back together. Why, I'll never know. Its like she doesn't realize he beat the shit out of her. He went to court a week ago, and the details of the police report was released. The reports been out about a week, but I'm still gonna post it later. It's a good read, in a bad way. Her people don't want pictures of the two of them together to get out, his people do. Go figure!

Hmmm... what else. I'm sure is tons more that I would have/should have written about, but I can't find my list right now.

Sorry for the delay peeps!

DA: Chris Brown expected in court

That's right y'all... CB is supposed to be in an LA courtroom today!

He is supposed to be in court around 3:30 (turn that into 6:30 our time). All the media is jumping on this and trying to get to the courtroom. But will he really show up?


Brown has been charged with two felonies. Court documents definitely show Rihanna as the victim of the alleged attack. His charges: assault likely to cause great bodily injury and making criminal threats.

IF... he gets convicted (yes, he gets his day in court, not just in the public eye), he could get anything from probation to almost five years in the slammer!

Honestly, I'd be surprised if he shows up. I think it'll just be his lawyer (unless he HAS to go).

Past Posts:
- "I'm Sorry"... that you suck
- Double your pleasure, double the pain?

"I'm Sorry"... that you suck

Guess what? He's sorry. Isn't that great.

Love means never having to say you're sorry, but for Chris Brown, it means having to say you're sorry over and over again.

Well... too bad for him - Rihanna is reportedly not happy about his half-assed apology.

"Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired. Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and/or reported in the media is wrong"

How can she be mad about that? It's so heart-felt and heart-warming. [/sarcasm]

I don't know, and you don't know, exactly what happened that night, but I think it's just time for her to say "Peace Out, Mutha F.."

Past Posts:
- Double your pleasure, double the pain?

Double your pleasure, double the pain?

Noo... say it ain't so!

Looks like a bad night and a right hook (at least, I'm assuming) has changed Chris Brown's squeaky clean image into a Doublemint nightmare.



According to a police report (which I haven't seen, but trust published reports) Brown assaulted girlfriend Rihanna Sunday night pre-Grammys. He missed the award show and turned himself in to police.

Until last night - no reports of anything even remotely bad about Brown. No rivalries, no fights, no nothing.

I'm not a big supporter of women-beaters, but if this was really just a one time thing and he's not the kind -- I hope he gets his life back on track.

If he really did beat Rihanna, I hope she leaves him -- one time thing or not.

PS - Wrigley said Monday that it will be suspending its Chris Brown ad campaign for Doublemint gum. Guess we won't see that commercial anymore... okay -- once more for old times sake.